Crimson Red , monotonous grey

Wednesday, March 21, 2007 4:40 PM

NANI!? LOOK THIS

*fuming* today is a bad day for me Tng pei Yu Tania!

I HATE ALL OF YOU! I CANT EXPRESS OUT MY FEELINGS! WHATS WRONG FOR BEING BAD IN THE PAST? I KNOW HOW TO DEFY BUT I ALSO KNOW WHEN TO OBEY! I AM BAD IN THE PAST, BAD TEMPER BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN I AM RUDE OR ACT LIKE GANGSTER!

SO "SCARED" OF ME? DON ACT LA! SINCE THE PEOPLE OF THIS CLASS ONLY KNOW HOW TO BULLY BUT NOT UNDERSTAND, MIGHT AS WELL I HIDE IN A CORNER AND NEVER INTERACT WITH ALL OF YOU! LAUGH AT ME, SAY ME ALL THOSE STUFFS! WHY CANT YOU PEOPLE JUST GIVE ME A PEACE AND QUIET TIME? I DIN BOTHER U PPL SO WHY BOTHER ME!?

I SIMPLY CANNOT TOLERATE THIS ANYMORE! TODAY I WAS FEELING VERY DOWN ALREADY YET ALL OF YOU SAY ALL THOSE STUPID STUFFS AT ME! TRYING TO LOWER ME TO YOUR STANDARD? TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY? tRYING TO MAKE ME BE BAD AGAIN? TRYING TO MAKE ME SCREAM AND SHOUT?

NO WONDER...I FELT THAT I BEGIN TO HATE THIS CLASS. BECUASE ALL OF YOU WERE INSULTING ME! AT FIRST I THINK THAT THE NEW STUDENTS AND THOSE WHO ARE NOT E3 SHOULD BE ALRIGHT BUT I REGRET OF THINKING LIKE THAT! BECAUSE I BOTTLE UP MY FEELINGS ALOT! THIS IS WHY I WROTE ALL THIS!

ITS NOT FOR FUN!

I JUST WANT TO HAVE THE FEELING OF BEING FREE ONCE AGAIN! BEING LIKE ALL OF YOU, SMILE AND LAUGH EVERYDAY! AND BEING CIRCLED WITH FREINDS ONCE AGAIN! WHATS WRONG WITH THAT? WHATS WRONG? WHAT IS WRONG?

IF THIS CONTINUE, I WIL SHUN AWAY LIKE THE PAST AGAIN! I RATHER BOTTLE UP MY FEELINGS AND TIO DEPRESSION THEN HAVING LAUGHED BY ALL OF YOU! NO ONE UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL AT ALL! NO ONE KNOW HOW I HAD SUFFER! NO NOE KNOW Y AM I LIKE THIS! NOT EVEN MY PARENTS OR SISTER! ONLY MYSELF!

IF ONE DAY I CAN END MY LIFE, I WILL. I WILL END IT ONCE AND FOR ALL EVEN THOUGH I DID NOT PURSUE MY DREAM! I WILL DIE WITH REGRETS. I RATHER BE FORGOTTEN BY EVERYONE AND EVERYONE TREATED THAT I AM NOT EXISTED!

true friends? i can never get one now. everyone hated me, betrayed me...like how my friends did in the past. those who did not do anything to me nvm...this words are only for people who know wat happen. sigh. i am gonna be lonely again...

maybe i will set this blog to another URL or Close it or Hiatus it. as for the things on the classboard, if you people make me feel worse, i will take eveything down. THIS IS TO SHOW THAT THE MEANING OF "TANIA IS NEVER HERE". if those who understand what i mean...please stop saying all those things to me anymore...i am getting very tired....

those who hate me for typing these, JUST IGNORE ME BUT DONT INSULT OR MAKE FUN OF ME!