Saturday, April 11, 2009 11:26 AM
Thoughts
Its a lovely saturday and obviously i spent my time in my own way. drawing and dazing away. its morning now , how i wish i could just step out of the house and breathe in the cooling fresh air. how great would it be! i look down on the paprs on my table and i am itching to come up with a new design. sigh , i was suppose to be studying in school now yet due to fatigue , i did not wake up on time.
the fatigue was so great that perhaps sleeping for aeons , it would dissappear. so i went surfing the net then i noticed something. 16 years old , this curse age , why curse? its because i wanted so many things at this age. and these things had to be bought with money. my family isnt very well off so i need to save every now and then. thus its the reason why i dont have branded goods or many clothes and shoes.
but i am not interested in clothes , bags , or shoes anyway.
i am more interested in art programs (photoshop , SAI , open canvas , art rage etc.etc) , tablets , markers , color pencils , paint , good quality notebook/sketchbook/paper , books , books and more books. well thats basically me afterall! if i am going to change one day , it will be pretty shocking.
hmm. so i am currently so into these stuffs that i wanted them badly. i felt guilty on having such thoguhts and dare not tell my parents to spare me $10 to get stationaries or a comic book. sigh. i should put away these thoughts and be satisfied with whatever i have. humans can never be satisfied forever but even if its temporary , i will feel better. sigh. i wish to pass my subjects and do better in art and life.
i wish to move on in my life and not stuck there. i wish to move on with life on the outside at least since i cant move on the inside. i am stuck in a dimension of lost time. time would not move on and i am missing out on many things which i yearn to have yet i could not reach it. sigh. you guys wouldnt get what i meant. its too hard for those who live in bliss to understand. if you think you are not happy with your family , then think again. you are actually living in bliss compared to others.
lets move on with the happy things shall we? i watch a video on the aurora borealis and its simply beautiful. its been my dream from young to watch it with my own eyes but it seems like i threw these dream away due to being afraid of unable to fufil the dream. but i remembered this dream again when i read the passage (in english) of it and how i love the passage! it just simply describe what i wanted to say. and i know more about them now. hah , i felt satisfied.
now i shall stop. its only the morning and i had so much to talk? oh well thats me afterall. hail the lengthy post! later , would be going to the library for F and N research.
after that i am so gonna devour up my books. gotta finish reading Dracula , then restart on Twilight series (exclude breaking dawn) and read harry potter books.
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books , books and more books!!!
