Crimson Red , monotonous grey

Sunday, June 14, 2009 10:10 PM

so in love with you...

MY ADOBE CREATIVE SUITE! OH MAMA!
(not obama mind you. neither obala please.)

itsinmyroomnow!
holy macaroni! hualalala! hallelujah! praise the revolution! aishiteru! koishiteru! saranghae! ITS ADOBE GODDAMIT!!!! the real thang!

okay. back.
well finally , i got my hands on the educational pack of the adobe creative suite which cost $99 instead of the retail price $978. its in a oh so lovely box and i cant take my eyes off it. its my new lover now , other than my art box , computer , current photoshop and papers. (lols. wierd stuff)
i am gonna keep it properly , its too delicate for me to open. :DDDDDDDDD

i will wait till a few months later to open it. for now , it shall be a major eye candy :D

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sigh. lets get serious. for those who cant handle random long ramblings , you may stop , or else it is going to take a toll on both your spirit and body. for those who try , well good luck.

thought about my future the past few days. i guess i will rethink about it after my O levels. i really dont have the courage to walk on to the next part of my life. i fear passing by day by day and being an adult sooner or alter.

i dont wish to be an adult. not that i wish to be pampered and taken care of for the rest of my life.. but.. i dont like how the adults think. they are narrow minded. being a kid is better as you can see things in a wider perspective.

actually , from the way i said it. i am running away. yep i know that. accept the fact that i am afraid to face the reality. the reality is.. just too much. it is not something i can handle. i cant handle the way i am now so how am i suppose to walk on? why hadn't i have been a stronger person? with more confidence to keep walking on?

ah. the answer is. no thanks to my obstacles.

thanks to that sword which had been stabbing me , i learnt more about life. yet i despise you to the core. you who are mentally within me and i doubt i can forget you for life. thats what i call the so call minor trauma. i hate you , i hate you my obstacles that never made my life easy. you are the answer to my depression.

well i know you guys would tell me to put it down already. but have you met with a situation where you cant put down before? would you know how it feels? got on the jackpot in you right? hahah.

oh well. stop with the ramblings before i go overboard.
well , probably you guys would ask : why are you so negative about life? learn to be positive!

my answer is...
i see and felt the ugly truth more than normal people.

and what do i mean by that?
tsk. you wouldnt need me to spell it out right!?

funny humans.
insolent obstacles.